APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GUYS
Name of Husband / Signifigant Other: ____________________
RE: I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:
Date: _____________________
Time of departure: _____________________
Time of return NOT to exceed: _____________
Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.
Amount of alcohol allowed (units):
Beer: _____
Wine: _____
Liquor: _____
Total: ______
Locations to be visited: _______________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
Location: ______________________________
Start: ________
End: _____________
Location: ______________________________
Start: ________
End: _____________
Location: ______________________________
Start: ________
End: _____________
Location: ______________________________
Start: ________
End: _____________
Females with whom conversation is permitted:
Name: ______________________________________
Reason: ____________________________________
IMPORTANT CHEATING CLAUSE:
Notwithstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from instigating or persuing any activity in any form with another individual other than the that which is granting me permission with this contract. Violation of this Cheating Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship and fortfieture of all personal rights and possessions.
I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you to the concert/play/event of your choice, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.
I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.
Signed - Husband / Signifigant Other: _________________________________
Request is (circle one): APPROVED DENIED
This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times.
Permission for my husband/signifigant other to be away for the following period of time:
Date: ____________________
Time of departure: ______________________
Time of return: _____________
Signed Wife / Signifigant Other: __________________________________________
