I Wish That I Could Tell You

Unkown things
That I don’t know.
I wish that I could tell you.
The words that I would say,
Sound as empty as the way you feel inside.
But the silence in between,
Tells me everything that you deny.
I don’t know how to help you,
I wish that I could tell you,
How to tell me good-bye.

I don’t know how you leave
It all behind.
I wish that I could tell you.
Is it true a heart heals
Itself with time?
I wish that I could tell you.
How do you choose?
Do you hurt them with the truth
Or with a lie?
Where do you go?
To own

I wish that I could tell you

How do you tell someone
You’re letting go?
I wish that I could tell you.
But you’re asking me things
That I don’t know.
I wish that I could tell you.
The words that I would say,
Sound as empty as the way you feel inside.
But the silence in between,
Tells me everything that you deny.
I don’t know how to help you,
I wish that I could tell you,
How to tell me good-bye.

I don’t know how you leave
It all behind.
I wish that I could tell you.
Is it true a heart heals
Itself with time?
I wish that I could tell you.
How do you choose?
Do you hurt them with the truth
Or with a lie?
Where do you go?
To find the courage you know
I could never find.
I don’t know how to help you,
I wish that I could tell you,
How to tell me good-bye.

Where do you turn?
Where do you go?
When you’ve finally reached
The end of the road.
How do you say it?
I just don’t know.
When it comes to leaving,
You’re on your own.
I don’t know how to help you,
I wish that I could tell you,
How to tell me
Good-bye.

Push You Down

I said, “I don’t think I’ve ever been good enough,
I’m a little bit rusty, and I think my head is caving in.
I don’t know if I’ve ever been really loved,
By a hand that’s touched me, and I feel like something’s
Going to give... and I’m a little bit angry.”

This isn’t over, no not here, not while I still
Need you around. You don’t owe me,
We might change, we just might feel good.

I said, “I don’t know why you would ever lie to me,
Like I’m a little untrusting when I think the truth
is going to hurt you.

And I don’t know why you just couldn’t stay with me.
You couldn’t stand to be near me,
When my face didn’t seem to want to shine.
Because it’s a little bit dirty.”

Don’t just stand there, saying nice things to me.
I’ve been cheated, I’ve been wronged.
And you don’t know me, I can’t change that.
So, I won’t do anything at all.

But don’t bowl me over, just wait one minute.
It kind of fell apart, things got so crazy.
So, don’t rush this, let me enjoy my moment.

I would love to push you down, I wish I could.
I would love to push you around, maybe someday.
I would love to take you for granted, in the exact same way.

Him...

You’re lying face down on the bed, pressing your cheek against the pillow. The sheets are itchy and stiff because you bought them the day before, just for this occasion. The little pink flowers in the print are too feminine for your taste, but they match the new painting on the walls of the room and that was what was important at the time.

You hear his footsteps enter the room. You close your eyes and pretend that you’re dozing, hoping he doesn’t realize how much his being here means to you. You begin a steady rhythm of breathing and silently willing your heart to slow.

He crawls into the bed and the mattress slumps under his weight. The combined scent of him and new sheets fills your nostrils as he settles himself next to you. His leg wraps around yours while his arm drapes over your back, fingertips lightly rubbing your skin through your shirt.

You feel his whiskers scratch against your upper arm. You turn your face towards him and absorb his features, hoping to memorize every detail, so you can remember them on those nights when you’re alone and needing that space filled. You know his eyes are gray-brown and that his face is round. But you had forgotten about his slight overbite and his cleft chin. You’re surprised that you forgot about this, the one thing that had attracted you to him in the first place.

You reach your hand out and with your index finger, push against the tender skin of his chin. You smile at his reaction of sighing and closing his eyes. Your heart swells and you feel the lump of tears that always seem to come when you’re with him, threaten. You stop yourself from telling him the truth that would scare him away if he knew. You chant over and over to yourself that this moment is only what it is: a moment.

He opens his eyes and turns to face you. He smiles sheepishly and hugs you tighter. He rubs his nose against yours and his smile grows wider.

“Have I told you how glad I am to be here?” He asks.

You feel your stomach grow warm and the back of your neck tightens. You smile back and stroke his face with your fingers.

“I’m glad you’re here too,” You whisper. “You don’t even know how much.”

You feel him squeeze you harder in reaction. You grow very still and stare at his mouth, remembering how his lips feel when they touch yours.

As if he hears your prayers, he brings his head forward.