Finally

Oh how long I have waited
For this moment to arrive.
You walk up
And kiss me;
The world disappears.

Many years of experiences,
Many like this.
They did not prepare me for
Reacting like
It was my first kiss.

I swoon.
You hold me.
And finally,
I am complete.

I love you!!

Assignment: Life Styles Inventory Assessment

Bovasso, Kari

GM591:

Leadership & Organization

Professor Jim Lott

20Nov03

Life Styles Inventory

Assessment

LIFE STYLES INVENTORY

Written Assignment

There are three styles presented by the LifeStyle Inventory:  the Constructive Style, the Passive/Defensive Style, and the Aggressive/Defensive Style.  My actual test results are attached at the end of this summation, and below are my thoughts on each style’s results. 

CONSTRUCTIVE STYLES:  Percentages and Brief Text Evaluation

In the Constructive Style phase, I scored 85% in Achievement, 95% in Self-Actualization, 93% in Humanistic-Encouraging, and 93% in Affiliative.  The circumplex, included elsewhere in this synopsis, indicates that this phase is to “reflect self-enhancing thinking and behavior that contribute to one's level of satisfaction, ability to develop healthy relationships and work effectively with people, and proficiency at accomplishing tasks.” In the accompanying Self-Development guide, LSI1, there are summations of the different personality traits.  First, according to the somewhat high score in the Achievement section, it says that I ‘tend to want to do things well,’ that I ‘focus on quality.’  Next, the high score in Self-Actualization says that I have ‘confidence in my ability to make things better; that I approach things with a realistic view.’  Third, the high score in Humanistic-Encouraging says that I am a ‘supportive leader’ and that I ‘garner respect from others.’  Last, the high score in Affiliative says that I ‘am comfortable around others’ and ‘build satisfying relationships.’

PERSONAL ASSESSMENT:

I tend to agree with this assessment of the Constructive Styles.  Of the three styles, these are my strongest; most ‘dominant.’  I know what my limitations are, but I know what I do well, and constantly challenge myself.  I always try to encourage my friends and others to do the best that they can, and offer my help if they need it.  As a manager I always tried to live up to my own motto that:  I will never ask you to do something that I refuse to do myself.  I have had many friends tell me that they respect what I have accomplished in my life, as I have done so with little or no support from my family.  When I left one of my previous employers, twelve of the thirty-two employees also left because they had only remained working there because of me; I made their environment more enjoyable.  I believe that one reason I try to help others is due to my being in Sea Scouts (the mariner division of Boy Scouts) for 14 years.  In scouting, we were responsible as a group to teach the others in our group what we were learning – a group effort to do our best and teach everyone else too. 

PASSIVE/DEFENSIVE STYLES:  Percentages and Brief Text Evaluation

In the next section, the Passive/Defensive phase, I scored 15% in Approval, 10% in Conventional, 20% in Dependent, and 42% in Avoidance.  This phase is to “represent self-protecting thinking and behavior that promote the fulfillment of security needs through interaction with people.”

My scores in most of these sections of the Passive/Defensive phase were pretty low percentages, except for the Avoidance segment.  The low score in the Approval segment means that I ‘appreciate but do not need approval from others’ leading towards less stress in my life, and/or that is easy for me to relax.  The low score in Conventional means that I am ‘inner-directed’ and that I can accomplish and set my own goals.  The low score in Dependent indicates that I ‘do not rely on others for direction.’  The medium-level score in Avoidance means that I sometimes doubt my own abilities, but that I can ‘accept failure, learn from the experience, and move on.’

These scores are my second highest in this assessment.

PERSONAL ASSESSMENT:

My parents separated when I was just six years old, and both of them met someone shortly thereafter.  We lived with my father.  I am the youngest of four children, each of them separated by only one year, where the oldest of the four is six years older than I am.  We were left to ourselves much of the time, as my father was dating and tended to spend most evenings with his new girlfriend.  Here is where my upbringing had an even greater effect.  By the time I was in junior high school, most of the other kids in my family had already moved out, or moved in with our mother.  Even when I was in elementary school, I remember coming home to an empty house a lot so I was left up to my own devices a fair amount of the time.  I didn’t really care then, and it has not changed much, about what other people think of what or how I accomplish things – I did not have any other choice.  If I wanted to eat, I made dinner; if I wanted clean clothes, I did my laundry.  If I didn’t have much input from anyone else through the course of my day (aside from school), why would I hold much power in someone else’s views of my methods?  This is from a personal, not business perspective.  In respect to business, however, I think I work best if a supervisor tells me WHAT they want accomplished, but leave HOW it is accomplished up to me.  Of the three styles, this area is my ‘weakest.’  I don’t view this as ‘weak,’ however; I just know that I have to watch what and how I say things to authority figures!

AGGRESSIVE/DEFENSIVE STYLES:  Percentages and Brief Text Evaluation

In the last phase, the Aggressive/Defensive phase, I scored 42% in Oppositional, 25% in Power, 9% in Competitive, and 25% in Perfectionistic.  This phase is to “describe self-promoting thinking and behavior used to maintain status/position and fulfill security needs through task-related activities.”  The medium-level score in Oppositional means I have a ‘healthy skepticism;’ a ‘questioning’ nature.  It also means that I ‘can be an objective listener, and I view others criticisms of me as constructive.’  The low-to-medium score in Power means that I don’t ‘use my authority to force or control others,’ that I ‘have patience for others.’  The low score in Competitive means that I am not ‘driven’ to compete with others, that I can work well in a team, and that I can produce high quality results.  The low-to-medium score in Perfectionistic means that I ‘work hard to attain results,’ that I am ‘internally motivated.’

PERSONAL ASSESSMENT:

This is the lowest scoring section of my Life Style, and I tend to agree with this assessment too.  I have always asked a lot of questions, always been somewhat skeptical.  People feel almost overly comfortable with me; I have had many strangers tell me their life stories without any prompting from me.  In the workplace, I tend to take other people’s suggestions and find the most efficient methods possible for the tasks at hand. 

Am I An Effective Manager?

In terms of planning, since my highest score was in the Self-Actualizing section, the LSI says that I can blend the ‘right people with the right tasks,’ that I have ‘realistic goals and strategies.’  The next highest scores were the Humanistic-Encouraging and the Affiliative (equally).  These mean I have a ‘team approach to planning, with high levels of staff input.’  Unfortunately, it may be hard to accomplish the objective in question, due to lack of a formal plan.  These are fairly accurate observations, but knowing I have problems with the group approach, I usually tend to take on projects either independently, or just in a partnership.  Organizationally speaking, as previously stated, I tend to be informal and assign tasks to those best suited for them.  In terms of staffing, I can become very close to those on my staff, and may even hire friends who fit the requirements for the position.  However, do not be misled.  I am friendly, but I have no problem directing and working with any staff member regardless of any previous or now existing friendship.  I like to let staff work according to their own methods, so long as goals and objectives are being met in a timely and/or efficient manner. 

Which Style Should I Seek to Improve?

I would actually rather improve the Passive/Defensive Style section over the Aggressive/Defensive phase, even though the latter was a lower scoring phase.  I have been doubting my own abilities most of my life.  I have great ideas, yet I sometimes don’t pursue or volunteer them because I fear they won’t be accepted by upper management.  I know that it was mainly the environments and people that I worked for that held me back, and my family’s lack of support, but I should have pursued new ideas in a different fashion.  I feel I had even more improvements to offer the businesses I worked for rather than the few I actually incorporated into their businesses.  In order to improve upon this, I have been a little more realistic in my assessment of myself.  When I feel like discounting something I have an idea for or any other situation that calls for my input, I assess the situation and apply my idea to it.  If it has merit, values, or would benefit the company or staff members by increasing productivity or efficiency, then I will push it forward regardless of how I may initially shoot it down in my mind.

Closing Thoughts

I enjoyed this exercise; however, it isn’t entirely representative of me as a manager.  I answered the questions from an all-around perspective of myself, not just as a manager.  I react differently with friends, family, and schoolmates differently than I do in the workplace.  As I am sure applies to most people in like situations.  But I do feel that this is a valuable and neat tool to figure out where I need to improve my managerial skills.  I think a great deal more people would benefit from this type of assessment, regardless of whether or not they felt the need in their line of work. The results could be used to evaluate a possible career change that would better fit your personality type, and managerial methods, that would make for a better working environment.

Name:  Kari Bovasso

Date Survey Taken:  11/8/2003

Your LSI Styles Profile

The scores (out of 40) and the percentiles in the table and in the circumplex below depict your perceptions of how you think and behave.
The CONSTRUCTIVE Styles (11, 12, 1, and 2 o'clock positions) reflect self-enhancing thinking and behavior that contribute to one's level of satisfaction, ability to develop healthy relationships and work effectively with people, and proficiency at accomplishing tasks.
The PASSIVE/DEFENSIVE Styles (3, 4, 5, and 6 o'clock positions) represent self-protecting thinking and behavior that promote the fulfillment of security needs through interaction with people.

The AGGRESSIVE/DEFENSIVE Styles (7, 8, 9, and 10 o'clock positions) describe self-promoting thinking and behavior used to maintain status/position and fulfill security needs through task-related activities.

Position	Style	Score	Percentile
1	Humanistic-Encouraging	38	93
2	Affiliative	38	93
3	Approval	7	15
4	Conventional	8	10
5	Dependent	10	20
6	Avoidance	4	42
7	Oppositional	6	42
8	Power	3	25
9	Competitive	5	9
10	Perfectionistic	16	25
11	Achievement	37	85
12	Self-Actualizing	38	95

The percentile scores in the table represent your results compared to those of others who recently completed the Life Styles Inventory. For example, a percentile score of 75 means that you scored higher along a particular position than 75% of the other respondents in the sample and, in turn, indicates that the style represented by that position is strongly descriptive of you. In contrast, a score of 25 means that you scored higher than only about 25% of the other respondents and, therefore, would indicate that the style represented by that position is not very descriptive of you.

Your LSI Styles Circumplex

Examining your Circumplex
To receive an accurate interpretation of your 12 styles, it is important for you to consider the score of each style in terms of its range within the profile. The three ranges correspond to the percentile points in the table above and circumplex below:


HIGH -- Your style score is in the HIGH range if it is at or above the 75th percentile.
MEDIUM -- Your style score is in the MEDIUM range if it is between the 25th and 75th percentiles.
LOW -- Your style score is in the LOW range if it is at or below the 25th percentile.

Fiction or Non-Fiction? Well, entertaining anyway....

I have always been a little more open sexually than your traditionally brought up folks, yet due to societal mores or what have you I have been lax at experimenting with too much. My sexual preference is with men, however, I find sexual feelings and intensity a turn on, with whoever you may be experiencing them with. In other words, as I always say, in the heat of the moment anything goes!

Suffice it to say, other than a couple of drunken evenings where I questioned (however didn’t really care) who exactly was kissing my back here and there…….. I have never been with a woman. I have had dreams involving same sex instances, and I can openly appreciate women’s beauty, however I am more apt to want to play with a man than a woman.

I have a friend, ‘Vanessa’, that I met at college who I have had some interesting evenings with, including one of the drunken ones mentioned above. There were instances here and there involving nudity, but they never amounted to much. She and I just shared advice and discussion on a lot of topics. See, I pretty much raised myself given little to no supervision from when my parents divorced when I was six, and she was raised as the oldest of six in a Mexican-Catholic family (cross yourself now, genuflect, genuflect…).

Vanessa and I have been friends for a few years now, and have discussed everything from tampons (she had never used them, I showed her how) to men and their inevitable return, when they push you away that final time and you leave them (...shared tears over that).

When she invited me to a major concert here in sunny California with a couple friends of her family’s, I never expected a day like we had. I drove to her house to await her friend ‘Dave’ who arrived late (as per usual) but the day was a laid-back day and we were all in a good mood. Dave said we were driving to his friend’s house to pick him up, and then we were leaving to the concert. So as not go into a lot of boring details, we pick up ‘Chris’ and a cooler of beer, some 100-proof whiskey and Seven-Up, and head out.

Well, Vanessa was quick to tell Dave in the parking lot that what happened at the concert STAYED at the concert, and only then when he agreed, did she let down her guard. It was a hot day, sweltering…. Vanessa and I both were wearing spaghetti strap tank tops. Vanessa is a safe 34C and I am 38D. The boys were happy when we started playing with ice cubes, melting them on ourselves and each other. Melting them on the boys (digital pictures are floating around SOMEWHERE ;-)….). We drink all the alcohol before we go into the concert, joking and playing in the parking lot, and very promptly lose Dave in a mosh pit upon getting inside.

Here we are, hanging out with Chris, who we had just met, and feeling happy (and horny) from all the touchy-feely in the parking lot. Why not? We are all single, and out to have a good time at an awesome concert. The vendors were all happy to keep us supplied in ice. I am very light-skinned and had a straw hat and some bandanas we kept filling up with ice. For hours, we sat on the lawn listening to music and stroking each other with ice cubes, me stroking Vanessa, she stroking me; Chris joining in with both of us, both of us stroking him. It was all very sensual, and exciting.

A little background is needed here. I am a very sexually active person… even though I was single, I date a lot and have a few ‘friends’ that help me out in the sexual arena. Vanessa is 27, moved back home to save money while she finished college, and shares a room with a sister. Needless to say, there is not much opportunity for her to “self-stimulate” and since she has been single for a long while, it has been 4 years since the last time she had sex! Oh my!! The running joke among our friends is that it has been my goal to get her laid this year!!!

Now Back to Saturday at the Concert…..

Here we are, having been teasing each other with ice cubes all afternoon… drunk on whiskey and sun…. Chris is kissing us both, she kisses him back…. I am thinking “Hey, maybe she will hook up with him…” When all-of-a-sudden, Vanessa leans over and kisses ME! Not a chaste ‘thanks-for-being-my-friend-going-with-me-to-this-concert’ kiss but a ‘I-am-so-horny-hot-and-bothered’ kiss! This is the first time I have ever done that… and here we are at a concert in front of hundreds of people. Chris was in heaven, saying things like “You girls are amazing!” And he didn’t believe us when we had said we had never done that before, with each other or anyone else!

An old friend...

Today I got a message from an old fling of mine.... Tim.

Interesting:

I know it's been awhile, and I apologize... I'm really sorry. I just..... needed to apologize to you. It just really scared me. I'm not a person that just lets things go.


The funny thing is.... Tim and I had a lot of fun together. No strings, just spent a lot of time for awhile... you know how that goes.

Then I guess that must have scared him, that we got along so well. Because the reason he is apologizing is because he slept with my best friend at the time. She knew things weren't 'serious' with Tim and I, we were just all having fun.

I think it's weird. To borrow a line from the Doors... People are strange.

Opposites Attract

want to see you
naked
across the room

dancing to flames
tingling ablaze
hotter than kindling

silhouetted against
the wall

your shadow
in rhythm

imagine
your golden sheen
searing scented flesh

hear your voice
trumpeting
an idea

the past
is forgotten

opposites
still attract

nothing is so futile
as when love
is held back

Private Thoughts

Remembering you
naked
joined to my half-covered self

bodies cooling
from the fire
chaos swimming in minds

skin tingling
yearning, burning
from the slightest touch

hearts beating
in a rhythm
called unison

sweat glistening
sheening, maybe
even blending

the future
could be seen

do opposites
still attract?

Nothing is more lonesome
than shadowed light
remembering

What do you want out of life?

What do you want for yourself? For others? From others? All my life I think I have tried to be the best friend I can be to people: I help out when I can, I try to be considerate of others. In the end though, what is it all for? Men, women... are we really meant to pair off, be a partnership, work together? Is there someone for everyone? And if so, do you think that maybe there is some unreal percentage of people who are blissfully head-over-heels in love with someone, like 1% or .5% really, and the rest all compromise? You make the best life with the one you choose, so choose well? I dunno, all I know is... I haven't found that for myself yet, and don't know if I ever will. I don't like compromising. :)

I Wish That I Could Tell You

Unkown things
That I don’t know.
I wish that I could tell you.
The words that I would say,
Sound as empty as the way you feel inside.
But the silence in between,
Tells me everything that you deny.
I don’t know how to help you,
I wish that I could tell you,
How to tell me good-bye.

I don’t know how you leave
It all behind.
I wish that I could tell you.
Is it true a heart heals
Itself with time?
I wish that I could tell you.
How do you choose?
Do you hurt them with the truth
Or with a lie?
Where do you go?
To own

I wish that I could tell you

How do you tell someone
You’re letting go?
I wish that I could tell you.
But you’re asking me things
That I don’t know.
I wish that I could tell you.
The words that I would say,
Sound as empty as the way you feel inside.
But the silence in between,
Tells me everything that you deny.
I don’t know how to help you,
I wish that I could tell you,
How to tell me good-bye.

I don’t know how you leave
It all behind.
I wish that I could tell you.
Is it true a heart heals
Itself with time?
I wish that I could tell you.
How do you choose?
Do you hurt them with the truth
Or with a lie?
Where do you go?
To find the courage you know
I could never find.
I don’t know how to help you,
I wish that I could tell you,
How to tell me good-bye.

Where do you turn?
Where do you go?
When you’ve finally reached
The end of the road.
How do you say it?
I just don’t know.
When it comes to leaving,
You’re on your own.
I don’t know how to help you,
I wish that I could tell you,
How to tell me
Good-bye.

Lost Trust

Stop knocking at my door
There is nothing left for you here

Stop knocking at my door
The lock has remained chained
The door has been sealed

Stop knocking at my door
There is nothing for you here
Just a scorned soul

Stop knocking at my door
I tell you there is no one
In this wretched place

There is nothing for you here
There is nothing but a
A broken light

So stop knocking at my door

Stop knocking at my door
The lock has remained chained
The door has been sealed

Stop knocking at my door
There is nothing for you here
Just a scorned soul

Stop knocking at my door
I tell you there is no one
In this wretched place

There is nothing for you here
There is nothing but a
A broken light

So stop knocking at my door