Letters Unsent

Dear Joe,
I liked you a lot. What we thought was real was only puppy love. Then we both expanded our worlds. I heard you were getting married the other day and spending the rest of your life with someone else. I just want to let you know that I hope you’re happy.

Dear Kevin,
We learned so much. We were immature when we met and bonded our lives together. I was so afraid of life I put the burden upon your shoulders, from the bottom of my heart; I’m sorry for that. Even though you treated me poorly, you were the only one who loved me for who I am and didn’t have expectations. You never once regretted loving me, but it just scared you away.

Dear Ben,
We cared so deeply it surprised me in the end. What you said to others did not justify how you treated me. Why couldn’t you talk to me? I always listened. But it was always silent, and I had to go. It was too cold.

Dear Fred,
I like you muchly. I was vulnerable and I saw the light shining from within your heart. I didn’t know how to show you how much you meant to me. If you could grant me one request, don’t forget me. Or our joint-custody dog Siggy.

Dear Shawn,
I cared too much. As a teenager, I would’ve sold my soul for a boy like you. But I’m afraid I don’t have that in me anymore. Everything in your life was dark and cold. I thought I could be the one to change that. You tried to be deep with your philosophies on life, but failed miserably. Please be careful, not everyone can take your depression like I can.

Dear Edgar,
For you it was all for fun, and that – we had. I just needed more than you could give me. You said you needed time. You said you needed space. You said you couldn’t be tied down right now. I saw you the other day with your new girlfriend. She’s pretty; seems sweet.

Dear Dave,
You showed me what it was to truly love someone. I wish that was all I needed. I made decisions for us; you made them for yourself. I am tired of that escalator ride, it broke. and I don't know how to repair it. Everything before you was just practice for the real thing. I can’t wait for the future and what I am sure it brings us; our lives together. I love that you listen, and truly hear what I have to say. My heart grows with every act of love and thoughtfulness you commit.

Okay... so I never posted here.....

The blog's here, but nothing is written. I found a bunch of stuff in my PC (and out) and I think I am going to put it all here. It's years old, so don't hate me and the horrible writing! Sorry it took so long.....

yeah, this shows up in the middle of it all... because I dated the posts for the time they were written. Obviously I couldn't have posted on blogger in 1998! I have only been a member since 2006! and had to restart the blog now a couple of times, so not even sure what it shows as my membership date now.

Enjoy.... or not!   :)

Names by Incarnation

by Peggy Cummings...



Dogon finally gave me my African name.

Sennua Neter - means "I am the likeness of God."

Names by Incarnation Objective
African Names - the ancient language of ancient Egyptian Keys to Pharonic.....

Unlocking Your Power & Destiny, by Heki Metu Pi Enkamit

Introduction by Ri Un

Nefer Amen, author of the Metu Neter

Peggy's Pleasures

My mom wrote this all over the place.

I think in the last years while working within the community it really resonated with her.

I believe it as well.

Feeling

Dreaming; I’m not sleeping
Have I died,
Or been brought to life?

Swimming; as I’m sinking
I’m holding on to you,
Letting go.

Naked; I like you naked
And when I fake it,
You like me more.

Exploring; The taste I’m touching
You’re watching me,
I’m watching you.

How does it feel?
Making love to me like you do.
How would it feel?
To make love to you the way I do.

Tell me; who would you be?
Would you be me?
The woman in me?

I want; I want to know
What you’re feeling
I want to crawl under your skin
I want to know how you feel in me.
Your touch
Your feeling

Original Inkblot Test

Friday, June 3, 2005

Reveal Your Subconscious Mind:

Kari, your subconscious mind is driven most by Peace


You have a deeply-rooted desire to make peace in the world. Whether through subtle interactions with loved ones, or through getting involved in social causes, it is important to you to be able to influence the world in a positive way.

You have a deep respect for humankind. You care about the future of the world, even beyond your own involvement in it, and you inspire others to feel the same way. Your innate drive toward peace guides you in daily life towards decisions that are respectful toward yourself and others.

Your psyche is very rich; the more you learn about it, the more you will understand who you really are.

Fun: Application For A Night Out With The Guys!

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GUYS

Name of Husband / Signifigant Other: ____________________
RE: I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:
Date: _____________________
Time of departure: _____________________
Time of return NOT to exceed: _____________

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.

Amount of alcohol allowed (units):
Beer: _____
Wine: _____
Liquor: _____
Total: ______

Locations to be visited: _______________________________
_________________________________________________
_________________________________________________
Location: ______________________________
Start: ________
End: _____________

Location: ______________________________
Start: ________
End: _____________

Location: ______________________________
Start: ________
End: _____________

Location: ______________________________
Start: ________
End: _____________

Females with whom conversation is permitted:
Name: ______________________________________
Reason: ____________________________________

IMPORTANT CHEATING CLAUSE:

Notwithstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from instigating or persuing any activity in any form with another individual other than the that which is granting me permission with this contract. Violation of this Cheating Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship and fortfieture of all personal rights and possessions.
I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you to the concert/play/event of your choice, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.

I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.

Signed - Husband / Signifigant Other: _________________________________



Request is (circle one): APPROVED DENIED



This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times.

Permission for my husband/signifigant other to be away for the following period of time:
Date: ____________________
Time of departure: ______________________
Time of return: _____________

Signed Wife / Signifigant Other: __________________________________________

A Nice Quote...

Current Event: Ford to Pay

I had a humanities class we had to write a 'Current Event' for:

According to an Associated Press release, a woman won a case against Ford Motor Company in a suit filed because her Ford Explorer rolled over 4 ½ times when she swerved to avoid a metal object in the road. The plaintiff was awarded $369 million in punitive damages, which is one of the biggest personal-injury awards ever against an automaker.   Prior to this verdict, and within only a few days earlier, a San Diego County jury ordered Ford to pay $368.6 million dollars in total in punitive and compensatory damages to another woman and her husband, respectively, for damages in their rollover case.

This is a monumental case, and we may be seeing more of these types of awards in the near future, as manufacturers are being held accountable for design flaws in their consumer products. The woman offered to knock $100 million off the damage award if Ford corrected the design flaws in their Explorer that she says left her wheelchair-bound, while Ford insists that the Explorer is safe, and meets or exceeds all federal safety standards.

While Ford may believe and promote that their Explorer design passes standards, then there may be an issue with the failure rating system in general.  Products are produced and sold, some which have high failure ratings, thus endangering consumers, however, the numbers of instances are considered negligible.  When you are talking about failures resulting in a person’s death, how can death be considered negligible?  Should any product be allowed to be mass-produced that has a failure rating? And what are the guidelines?  What are the standards used to figure the percentages for each product that is considered acceptable, and who monitors these standard-makers?  That is the question.

If manufacturers of goods are left to decide the fate of their consumers, there may be several issues that develop.  An ethical dilemma may arise as to make a design change that costs the company $200,000 to make, and directly affects bottom line costs, or to let the project move forward and hope for the best case scenario, that no one will be injured or killed if a failure of the product occurs.  Money is usually the deciding factor instead of safety.  

Current Event: Social Responsibility

I had a humanities class we had to write a 'Current Event' for:

There is a very fine line regarding social responsibility in a society as a whole that has become even more prominent since the tragedy that occurred on 9/11.  If one had prior knowledge of this tragic event, knowledge of exactly when and how it was going to occur, and how many lives would be affected, shouldn’t one report it to the proper authorities?  No matter how the information was discovered.  If one doesn’t tell anyone, and the event occurred as it did, with almost 3,000 people dead or missing, could a responsible person have lived with themselves knowing how many people’s lives were affected?  If America’s well-being is being threatened, and someone knows of the threat in advance, then not doing something would be even more detrimental than any pre-emptive measure would be.  What would have happened if an injured party or family of the injured party had discovered this prior knowledge and knew that the person with that prior knowledge still allowed the event to happen?  People are being prosecuted for the 9/11 travesty, why should the results be any different when applying this same methodology to a business, or an individual?

On an individual level, people are so far removed from each other that it takes an increased effort to create a relationship where none exists.  Look around the neighborhood.  How many of your neighbors do you know by name?  Are there block parties anymore, neighborhood potlucks?  No.  Why?  “I don’t want people that I don’t know in my house.  Do you?”  People don’t know their neighbors, because that takes too much effort.  If one doesn’t introduce themselves right away, then when?  If one waits, how easy is it to approach someone at a later time and introduce yourself?  “Hello, I have lived next door to you for four years now.  My name is Kari.”  Not appropriate anymore, is it?  All relationships take effort, even family relationships.  How many friends do most people socialize with?  When you’re young, one may have six to eight friends to ‘hang out’ with.  As one gets older, that number dwindles to about half, or even less, because one may choose to be content with partners and family members, and maybe a few close friends.  Those close friends would be the ones that are sent email, called, or make social plans on a regular basis.  If one stops emailing, calling, and planning events with them, how long would that friendship last?

               On a business level, it is interesting how people say that reading another employee’s email is an invasion of privacy.  But Oh! In this case it is okay because it saved people’s lives!  Where does one draw the line?  It either IS or it IS NOT an invasion of privacy without regard to what the content is.  If the content does involve or include information or plans that may be a detriment to others in any manner, specifically a criminal manner, is it okay for the company to step in and take measures to protect what is theirs; for example, employees?

               On that same business ideology, what if the information is not a criminal threat; however, it is an imminent threat to the business, like the Coca-Cola recipe?  This is intellectual property that belongs to the company.  Individuals and companies alike should be able to protect what is theirs, and protect the public at large as well.  The two should work in conjunction, not in opposition.  The public should not have to suffer for a company policy.  If there is a known factor or product that fatally affects a sector of the public, but only about a 4% rate, is it still okay to move forward with that design flaw still in place?  What would the families of that 4% say?  I believe that companies have a social responsibility to uphold.  Companies should set an example, and not accept the percentage, any percentage of harm, however minor it may be.  Since when is death a minor event?

Current Event: Florida Seniors Not Graduating

I had a humanities class we had to write a Current Events for:

In an article released in June via the Fox news network, an estimated ten percent of Florida’s high school seniors did not pass the Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test (FCAT) and were kept from receiving diplomas last month (May, 2004).  This percentage is an estimate, as State officials have not officially released the final numbers for the total amount of non-graduating students.  In April, however, the State officials speculated that nearly 10 percent, about 14,500, of the state’s 12th-graders were to be denied diplomas for May’s graduation ceremonies.

Although the number of non-graduating students is higher than last year’s quantity of 13,000, it is unclear as to whether the performance of the students has decreased, or if the increase in the number of enrolled students is a factor.

Also stated in the Fox news report are comments from Orlando representatives from both the Senate and the school board regarding using alternative testing results, such as from the with passing scores on the SAT and ACT tests (which are standardized college entrance exams). The FCAT may not be the best test for everyone. This possibility gives senior students more options for fulfilling graduation requirements.

About 10 percent of Florida's senior high school students had low test scores on the Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test, resulting in their diplomas being held from

them. The move comes amid a last-minute effort by the Legislature to ease testing rules so the seniors could graduate instead of being held back. Fox News reported that state officials have not yet released the final numbers, but in April, they speculated that nearly 10 percent — or about 14,500 — of the state's 12th-graders were to be denied diplomas for May graduations because they failed the FCATs.

That's a higher number than the approximately 13,000 seniors who failed to pass the tests last year. Officials said the increased figures were partly due to higher mandated scores on math and reading portions of the test. Others say an increase in Florida's school population contributed to the higher number of non-graduating seniors, said Fox News.

Critics of the FCATs say the test is not an accurate measure of a student's learning ability and unfairly put minority students at a disadvantage. Of the 13,000 seniors who did not get diplomas last year, a majority were Hispanic and black.  

 If the quantity of students enrolled in Florida’s schools is higher than last year’s figures, then it would lead to a higher quantity of non-graduating students, however, it could possibly be a lesser percentage - which is the manner in which the test results are released.  The State should make every effort to ensure that the information is compared apples to apples (% to %), as in this case, it could very well be simply a matter of apples to oranges (% to quantity).